Currently Listening Riot! By Paramore see related

Aut viam inveniam aut faciam...

I feel like I've lost something; but not quite sure what it is.  Maybe I've been trying to look for something that's not really there.  Frustrating.  In some ways, it seems redundant and pointless, like the Crusades in the Medieval ages.  I'm in a quest for my proverbial "Holy Grail" which may or may not even exist.  Why can't life be more simple than it really is?  Why does it need to be so extravagantly elaborate to the point that it becomes a pain in the fucking ass?  Why do you have to go and make things so complicated (Avril Lavigne.  hehe)?  So tired.  So spent.  So burned out.  So what?  Serenity now... Serenity now...

Currently Listening The Shade of Poison Trees By Dashboard Confessional see related

Hmmmm......

I can't help but get the feeling that I'm being left behind.  Its the old anxiety thing again.  Catching up to me and such.  People getting married and stuff, getting good-paying jobs or promotions.  You know, making it in the real world.  Its all happening so fast, it seems.  And I feel like I'm moving at the same snail's pace that I have been in the past 9 years or so.  Hmmm....... hmmmmm.....  hmmmmmm indeed....

Currently Listening The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most By Dashboard Confessional This Bitter Pill see related

The Long-lost Poem...

I wrote this poem about 3 or 4 years ago and comlpletely forgot about it.  lol.
 I thought I lost it somehow but it was just stashed somewhere in my
computer's hard drive.  It's written in Tagalog though, so if you don't
 understand it, you'll have to find someone to translate it for you.  hehe.

 Buti Pa Sha  ™©

Buti pa sha kasama ka
Wala nang ginawa kundi ngumiti at tumawa
Parang wala shang bagay na iniintindi
Kasi siguro sa kanya ka lang `di makahindi
Ano bang ginawa nya para makuha ka nya?
Bakit ba hindi ka sa`kin napunta?
Ang hirap palang makita kang ganito
Buti pa sha masaya sa piling mo

Buti pa sha lagi kang kausap
Sa phone, sa internet, lagi pang kayakap
Lagi kayong naglalakad na magkahawak ng kamay
Tingin ko pa rin hindi kayo bagay
Wala bang paraan para makalimutan kita?
Ayoko nang isipin na meron ka nang iba
Bakit hindi ka maalis sa isip ko?
Buti pa sha laging nasa tabi mo

Buti pa sha nahahalikan ka
Nakikita nya lagi mga maganda mong mata
Kumakanta ka sa kanya kahit kailan nya gusto
Sarap ng buhay nya, parang mga labi mo
Nayayapos nya'ng malambot mong katawan
Tuwing sumasayaw ka sa kanyang harapan
Hanggang pangarap na lang yata ako
Buti pa sha laging inaaliw mo

Buti pa sha napa-amo ka
Ba't kaya ako 'di ko yun nagawa?
Anong nakita mo sa kanya na wala ako?
Anong ginawa ko na hindi mo gusto?
Kahit anong mangyari, mamahalin pa rin kita
Kahit magkatuluyan kayo at magpakasal pa
Shite!! 'Di ko yata matatanggap yon
Buti pa sha lumulutang na parang dahon

Buti pa ang araw may katapusan
Mabuti pa ang ulap nauubusan ng ulan
Buti pa ang bra malapit sa dibdib mo
'Di tulad ko na lalong napapalayo

Ayoko nang marinig ang iyong pangalan
Mabuti pang mamatay para `di ka na pagmasdan
Sana nga ako na lang pinili mo
Siguro mas magiging masaya ka sa piling ko
Kahit anong bagay gagawin at ibibigay sa`yo
Maging ang langit, bituin, buwan o buong mundo
Buti pa sha mahal na mahal mo
Sana talagang masaya ka at hindi tulad ko...

Change...

Things change even if you don't want them to.   

 Home...where I wanted to go...

Yes, yes, yes....it feels good to be back in the motherland.  Finally away from everything that's been such a burden to my well-being.  It just sucks that this won't last forever.  I know that eventually I'm gonna have to go back to the real world ('cause my time spent here has so far felt surreal).  I know that eventually I'm gonna have to deal with all the bullshite again.  All the things (and people) that stress me out.  I guess I'll have to make the most of this time.  No use for sleep now.  Sleep is for the week.  Gotta do as much as humanly possible without killing myself (actually, maybe that's not such a bad idea -- kidding!!).  Carpe Diem, baby (right, Les?)!!  Ceize the fucking day, Goddammit!!  From now on (at least until I go back to Hateland, Canada), nothing and no one exists to me.  I will not think of anything that has happened to me in the past or of anyone who contributed to all the shite that I went through.  Its a good thing beer is so cheap here.  Hello alcohol!!!  You're gonna be my best friend for the next three and a half weeks....

D.C. Line of the day:  "It doesn't make it easier to be away..."